YOU THINK YOUR SPOUSE IS BEING AN A-HOLE (AGAIN!) It feels good to vent to friends when your husband is driving you crazy. And a little complaining is fine, but once you convince friends that your husband is a jerk, they’re not going to forget it. You may make up or get over your “fight du jour,” but your friend may not be able to quite so easily.
THE AMOUNT OF MONEY YOUR SPOUSE MAKES
Couples already compete: Whose house is bigger? Who drives the better car? If you spill the beans about your husband’s salary, friends may categorize you unfairly. You wouldn’t want friends to write off your issues as unimportant because they believe you make too much money to have real problems — or treat you with an air of superiority because they make more than you (although the best kinds of friends would do neither — consciously, anyway). Maintain the balance in your friendship by keeping all financial discussions private.
TMI ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE
A friend once told me that her husband called his penis “the trunk.” I had trouble looking him in the eye for months afterward. It can be thrilling to compare notes with friends about your sex lives. But there are certain details it’s best to leave out — like your partner’s sexual fetishes, the size (and unofficial moniker) of his penis and any other tidbits you wouldn’t want people to whisper about behind your back.
THE AMOUNT OF YOUR DEBT
Nearly every married couple has some debt, but how much or how little says a lot about your financial stability as a couple. Friends may feel resentful if you brag about how little debt you and your husband have accumulated over the years. If you complain that you have too much debt, friends may not invite you to their summer house because they feel guilty that they’re doing better. Don’t give friends a reason to judge you.
WHO YOU’D SLEEP WITH IN YOUR CIRCLE OF FRIENDS
Married couples sometimes joke about whose wife or husband they’d want to sleep with. I’ve had friends tell me they’ve fantasized about another friend’s husband. It’s normal to have fantasies…but dangerous to share them. A friend with loose lips could blow your cover — and that could lead to all sorts of awkwardness. Don’t share this one with anyone besides your hubby (and honestly, you might not even want to tell him).
WHICH OF YOUR FRIENDS YOUR PARTNER DISLIKES
Don’t let marriage get in the way of a good friendship. If a close friend turns your husband off (or vice versa), don’t tell her or him. In fact, don’t even tell your other friends — especially if the affected pal didn’t really do anything to deserve a bad rap.